will.i.am.milking.this.for.all.it's.worth

Credit for the title of this entry goes to Christopher Beam at Slate. (Who, yes, I kinda knocked earlier in another post.)

So, basically, there's another Obama music video from will.i.am called We Are the Ones. The constant stream of chants of "O-Ba-Ma. O-Ba-Ma..." in the background, as Beam said, "give grist to the dolts crying fascism." Beam called it "creepy," and I kinda see what he means. For me, it's more like a promising new writer's disappointing second novel, except that, while novelists should keep writing novels, is there a really a need for another star-studded Obama music video? (And I think the Obamas agree with me. I got the first one from an email from Michelle Obama herself; the campaign has not sent this one around to its email list.)

It probably is just another brain child of will.i.am, pure and simple, but I can't help but imagine a group of non-white celebrities pissed at themselves for not getting in on the first one--which, you know, officially put them behind Kate Walsh in the line of being badass--so they started circulating a petition, called something like let's-make-another-Obama-video-so-I-can-be-in-one-too. We are the ones features John Leguizamo, George Lopez, Jessica Alba talking about her unborn child (si, se peude), Kerry Washington, Forest Whittaker, Luis Guzman, Ryan Phillippe, Ben McKenzie, and (guess who?) MacymotherfuckingGray! I never stopped rooting for her. Also one of the dudes from Friday Night Lights, a show I find unwatchable, but it's set in Texas, so his appearance might bring in some Texas voters (?).

I'm glad Hollywood, like me, has found change it can believe in. (The more I have in common with George Clooney, the better.) But the tone of this last video planted a thought: that the nationwide O-love is starting to breed

O-stalkers.

There's been buzz recently about how, if Barack's elected, he's at high risk for assassination. When we hear that, we inevitably imagine some ignorant racist white man picking up one of his many legally purchased rifles, but maybe we should be more worried about an assassination in the Selena mold: a fan/member of his team whose love-obsession can only be quenched by a murder-suicide. A person who seems to be part of Obama's success and promotional efforts who is actually a time bomb.

Someone like, oh I don't know, will.i.am.

Like he wants a place in the Ocabinet, you know, in recognition of all his youtube efforts, just something small, like Secretary of Rhyming Words With Themselves... but Obama says "uh, no thanks, brother, the Ocabinet's all full."

And will.i.am like.freaks.the.fuck.out.

That is obviously retarded speculation on my part, right? But then I read things like this, which will.i.am said about getting the video's cast together:

"There's no casting ... the inspiration is the casting director."

I mean, is it me or has he wandered into the suburbs of Crazyville? (...and is that much closer to "the inspiration pulled the trigger.")

Anyway, this video isn't nearly as good as the first one, Yes We Can, which is quite moving. (And if you haven't seen it yet, it means, uh sorry, you didn't survive that accident--YOU'RE DEAD. Everyone alive was emailed the link forty times at least.)



Postscript:
An even more impressive celebrity singing-coordination effort than We Are the Ones is here. It's basically "We are the world" except the chorus is "I'm fucking Ben Affleck." It's even better than you hope it will be.

Yowza. Youtube is the baby daddy of like %70 of the endorphins in my brain.